CUT IT THE FUCK OUT WITH THE HANDLEBAR MOUSTACHES.
you don't look cool. you look like a douchebag. you cause me to have to look at you longer and imagine how possibly goodlooking you could be without the moustache. this then causes you to think i'm actually interested in a man with a handlebar moustache. i'm not. this then causes you to think the moustache is actually a chick magnet, and reinforces your behavior. it's a lose-lose situation.
fact: someone i was dating did have a handlebar moustache at one point, but we then broke up a week later. the moustache had nothing to do with it, i would have just refused to have had sex with him until he got rid of it.
this isn't 1889. or 1909. shave that shit off.
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